Dial-Up


By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | May 30, 2012

A few years ago I was researching ‘spanking’ for an article I was working on and came across a website where you could click to listen to an actual spanking as it had occurred. Out of curiosity I clicked the button and waited for the dial-up connection to load the recording.

While I was waiting my thoughts retrieved my own childhood. My parents each had their own methods for whipping. The dial-up was still working… As I remembered the pain and the shame of those ‘good whippings’ I began to sweat. My chest tightened and I could tell I was going to cry. Unable to go further, I clicked the ‘X’ to close the website and I never went back. Yeah, I remembered all those whippings.

My reaction surprised me and also reaffirmed my need to stay in my Parents Anonymous Group. While I was not hitting or whipping my children, I still carried that awful baggage with me every day. I still got angry over stupid things, just like Mom. I was authoritarian like Dad and I remembered those in my family who spoke of whipping almost as a Biblical duty.

Through the years I thought about waiting for the dial-up to load. I thought about my children and my need for them to love me as I loved them. I never wanted my children to hear the crack of a belt or feel the stinging burn it left behind. I did not want them to grow up and have memories like mine. In this fast paced world we live in I am grateful that one day not too long ago we had that slow connection, dial-up.

Copyright © 2014 Jackie Saulmon Ramirez. All Rights Reserved.

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About Jackie Saulmon Ramirez

Jackie has volunteered for more than twenty years for children and family issues. Currently she writes for parents in the "Reminder" and "Parent Rap" Facebook page. If you are interested in receiving the "Reminder," send her a message.
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