There are other things to think about when considering spanking as a means of discipline
By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | December 5, 2012
Spanking can split folks in a room into taking sides faster than politics and it is just as serious for many. When I came to Parents Anonymous in 1989 I read their non-violence policy and made an oath before the group that I would not hit or spank my children. In twenty-three years I have slipped fewer times than the number of fingers on one hand. If I can do it— you can too!
The few times when I have struck out were when the girls were within reach. I self-reported to the Parents Anonymous facilitators who are mandated reporters. The facilitator told me it would not require any further action because it was “in the moment.” In the moment means “instantly” and would rule out anything that happens even a few minutes after the incident. Those times happened so quickly for me that there was no time to think. There were also no lasting marks and any handprint was no longer visible within a couple of hours.
Another factor according to the facilitator was my undeniable drive and effort to change the abusive behavior and to learn other, healthier means of discipline. If it were a class in school I would have earned an A+. There were so many options beyond the tools given to me by my parents— a leather belt, a fly swat, switches, shoes, electrical cords— how could I not change?
The truth is that any parent who gives a lot of care and thought into the appropriate amount and type of discipline, they will ultimately choose something other than spanking. With that said— who would give any discipline measure without careful thought?
Spanking brings with it several drawbacks with it, one being the humiliation of the spankee and ultimate remorse of the spanker. The spankee doesn’t often learn a lasting lesson beyond being more careful not to get caught. The emotional damage spanking causes lasts for a lifetime and would prompt many to wonder, “Why would I knowingly do something to damage my child for the rest of their life?” This “damage” also causes the child to be vulnerable to everyone single person they meet, especially other children and bullies. Who would choose that for their child?
Another drawback is being visited by child protective services after a report and having a thorough investigation done. A parent’s most private information, your relationships and home can be laid bare to intrusion. If there are marks, bruises (even by accident) or injuries your children (one or all) could be removed from your home and be placed in foster care. The entire experience could expand other problems and end up costing you a small fortune. Now, do you really think spanking is worth it?
Looking forward to your golden years when you are no longer able to live alone there is the possibility of living with your adult children. There is a good chance they will care for you in the same manner that you cared for them. I remember seeing a joke in my e-mail once that reminded parents to “be nice to your kids because they will choose your rest home.” Think for a moment— would you like the way your children will care for you?
Copyright © 2014 Jackie Saulmon Ramirez. All Rights Reserved.
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