By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | June 3, 2015
Parenting articles may target mothers or fathers but in reality, both should read them.
Just to remind everyone that even though an article’s title may say “Dads” or “Moms” or in any other way limits it to one group, that there are still gems of knowledge to be gleaned from it. Most parenting articles are aimed at mothers whether it states that or not. Fathers, though, are a narrower group and I do add parenting articles for ‘dad’ for that reason. In any case, I encourage mothers out there to read those ‘dad’ articles. By my reading articles targeting fathers, it helped me learn more about the father’s perspective in general and specifically in my own family.
As an example, take how a mother doles out chores and responsibilities. When the mother asks/tells the father to be responsible for the children (ages 5, 7 and 11) for the day, she needs to let go of that task and let the father own the day. If there are medical conditions or other situations that have special requirements then mom can educate dad about them and all the ‘what ifs.’ I read about this in an article, then experienced it my group; mom tells dad this:
“Honey, I have the shower to attend in North Jersey and I cannot bring the kids. You will have them all day long. At 10 a.m. William needs to go to the library; take Annie and Buddy with you and look at children’s books on dinosaurs. At 12:30 when you get them back home you need to wash their hands; libraries are very dirty. After that you need to feed them. William likes baloney with mustard, Annie will have a turkey sandwich and Buddy can make whatever he wants. And then…”
You can see where this is going, right? Mom wants to be in both places so she can feel like she has done a good job. But the big pink elephant in the room is that fathers are the other parent; they are equally capable of caring for, nurturing and feeding their offspring. Dads might seem to need help in the beginning because mom has run the show for so long. But once dad has owned his parent authority, he may surprise you.
Dad may go to the library but he may just as well want to take the children for fast food. Then dad may take the children for a hike or out on a boat. If dad is doing the parenting work, let him figure it out. If there are appointments that must be met like birthday parties, scout meetings, tutoring session and so on, they should be on the family calendar. Both parents need to be able to take over at a moment’s notice. Mom may very well wonder why she waited so long.
Copyright © 2014 Jackie Saulmon Ramirez. All Rights Reserved.
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