Category Archives: Communication

Stroking: What It Is and How It Works


By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | October 29, 2014 “Stroking” is something that one of our Parents Anonymous facilitator mentioned often to members. It is such a simple thing, really, but something we may not think of too often. Stroking is … Continue reading

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Support Group Wisdom


By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | August 20, 2014 The Parents Anonymous Group was a wealth of information; I wonder how I could ever have managed without it and the members. Here are a few quick tips that I learned in … Continue reading

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Communication Tips For Parents


How do you talk with your children; have you ever just sat down and thought about it? By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | August 6, 2014 If you take a walk through the neighborhood – a store, school, school and so … Continue reading

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The Incredible Mom-Hulk


Parenting skills are passed from one generation to the next – unless the template is deliberately changed. By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | June 25, 2014 My parenting life was spent anxiously trying to stay calm and not get angry. When … Continue reading

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Get Children To Be Responsible For Their Room


The age-old problem of getting children to clean their rooms is one of the top issues discussed in Parents Anonymous Groups around the globe. By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | May 21, 2014 There are almost as many solutions, though, as … Continue reading

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The Need To Know: Child Into Adulthood


By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | May 14, 2014 Children can often help parents reduce stress and help themselves at the same time. In and out of my Parents Anonymous Group, I have come across many parents dealing with situations that … Continue reading

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Which Is It, Chores Or Punishment?


By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | April 30, 2014 What if you won a contest and the prize was for a genie to instantly clean and do menial jobs around your home for you? Sounds wonderful, does it not? A busy … Continue reading

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Promise Not Kept


By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | April 16, 2014 Can your children count on you? Can your kids count on what you say today meaning the same thing tomorrow? When nine-year-old Chelsey was in the fifth grade, Mr. Ramirez wanted her … Continue reading

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Bribery And Rewards: What’s The Difference?


By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | April 9, 2014 Parents in my Parents Anonymous Group often discussed bribery and rewards but many confused the two. What exactly is the difference and why does it matter? HINT: Bribes are not planned beforehand … Continue reading

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Toss Punishment – Keep Discipline


By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | March 26, 2014 If a parent punishes a child, what does a child learn from that? ‘Punishment’ is a very ugly word and I wish parents would take that word, write it down on a … Continue reading

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Children Want To Be A Hero


We learned the hard way, our heart-shaped pond held children’s attentions – and real danger. By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | March 5, 2014 My father built a rock-lined, heart-shaped goldfish pond for my mother in the back yard. The pond … Continue reading

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Fear As A Parenting Tool


In Parents Anonymous, we talk about parenting tools, fear isn’t one of them. By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | February 19, 2014 “You better get it done before I get back!” “I better not hear of you monkeying around in school!” … Continue reading

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Validation Is A Valuable Gift – If You Get It


If your children were magically put in charge of you, how would they treat you? By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | February 12, 2014 Many years ago I attended a workshop at the Parents Anonymous conference and, as always, I was … Continue reading

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Lesson On Bullying


Children know what it feels like to be bullied, but how do you explain what happens inside the person who is being bullied in terms a child can understand. By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | January 4, 2014 A friend and … Continue reading

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Teach Your Children The Way You Teach Your Dogs


When you get a puppy you teach them to be housebroken, to sit, stay, down and heel— kids need training too. By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | December 13, 2013 Hilda, an 86-year-old member in my Parents Anonymous group, had reared several … Continue reading

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PMS and Changing Consequences


Are you a pushover parent? Are you putty in your child’s manipulating hands? By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | September 19, 2013 Changing your mind is quite different from caving in to wailing pleas from a child. In the beginning of … Continue reading

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Telephone Interruption Rules


“Rrrrring! Rrrrring!” That was a cue at the Ramirez household for the girls to stretch limits and my patience. By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | September 12, 2013 A telephone is one way I volunteered for many years as a Helpline … Continue reading

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Blame & Shame


“You did it – it is your fault!” By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | September 5, 2013 Many claim credit for positive things that occur; cleaning the bathroom mirror, feeding the dog or finding the answer to the riddle on page … Continue reading

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Begging, Pleading, Demanding & Arguing


“Oh can I please – please – pretty please – with sugar on top!?” By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | September 4, 2013 Are children are natural born beggars? No, we train them to behave this way by giving in or … Continue reading

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Empty Threats


Never make a threat you are not going to carry out. By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | August 29, 2013 “You are grounded for a month!” “By the time you finish with this you’ll be collecting Social Security!” “You cannot leave … Continue reading

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Kids’ Built-In Crap Detectors


Open the door to lies then doubt and truth will often take flight as well. By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | August 28, 2013 We talk about children lying but because we are the adults in charge, we do not talk … Continue reading

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Friendless Kid? Try This


“I don’t have any friends!” will be a lament heard by many parents after the first day of school. By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | August 14, 2013 Being friendless is a concern for many children and time will take care … Continue reading

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Trayvon’s Law Summary – NAACP


Trayvon’s Law Summary – NAACP In light of the tragic death of Trayvon Martin and the overwhelming national awareness around numerous issues surrounding this case, the NAACP has developed a set of policy principles called “Trayvon’s Law” which embody legislative … Continue reading

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“Retard” & “Retarded” – Teach Kids Now


Many children have uttered the term “retard” or “retarded” to express their dislike of someone or during an argument not thinking of the group of people they offend. By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | August 1, 2013 Children – and many adults … Continue reading

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Trayvon: Dr. King and Daddy


When something horribly bad happens, where we are and what we are doing at the time is forever imprinted into our minds, like the World Trade Towers falling in New York City— we remember the shock as we stood transfixed.  … Continue reading

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Trayvon: Children and Racism


As parents, we go about our daily duties without a thought until a disturbing news event gets our attention and we turn to watch and listen. We are visibly moved and stop to ask— why. By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | … Continue reading

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Trayvon Martin: My Hope


Unable to concentrate on my writing, I search for a way to cope with black reality and to go on after the stunning verdict in the Zimmerman trial. By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | July 17, 2013 As hot as it … Continue reading

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Thoughts on Raising Gender-Able Children


Gender roles are  often in the news but I wonder if we are talking about it enough with spouses and children. By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | July 11, 2013 Back in May I discussed child discipline and child abuse with a … Continue reading

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Jesus, Grandma and Spanking


Few topics raise tempers on both sides as much as spanking and scriptures. By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | July 13, 2013 This week I heard from Susan, a longtime member who has joined grandparenthood and is now dealing with new, … Continue reading

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Limits and Dealing with Upsetting News Events


Drawing limits can help lessen stress and reduce the impact of network news. By Jackie Saulmon Ramirez | July 4, 2013 My grandmother Mur used to say, “If it weren’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have any at all,” then … Continue reading

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